I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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