I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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