Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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