How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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