I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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