I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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