Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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