everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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