just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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