Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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