What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize