I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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