so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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