he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
