Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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