it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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