I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Randomize
