He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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