How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
