if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this boner is exhausting
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
