rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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