The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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