shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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