when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
