break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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