your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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