dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
