I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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