you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize