just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
