You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
