Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
