dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
