When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
