Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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