just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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