I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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