we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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