tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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