I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
