Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so let's talk penis.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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