Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
