My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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