he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
