Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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