I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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