love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
