so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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