I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
