Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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