Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize