yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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