they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
