Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
