I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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