I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want her autograph on my taint
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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