does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
