how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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