you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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