this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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