One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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