Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
